If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
