I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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