I'm really into asian looking animals
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Drake has all the answers
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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