Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
I don't usually arrange sex via text message
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Randomize
