problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
