oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Randomize
