yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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