I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Randomize
