you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
