This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
