he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
A+ Viking dick
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
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