last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
Girls should come with a carfax report
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
