Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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