i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
