A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
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