Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Michael Bay diarrhea
He had one of those small greek statue penises
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
