he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Randomize
