I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
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