Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize
