Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize