Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
