It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
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