I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Randomize
