Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
I just found a bag of teeth...
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
Randomize
