I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
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