And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Randomize
