Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Randomize
