Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
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