I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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