mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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