i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
I think I died a long time ago.
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
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