Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
