the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
I think a kid would responsible me up
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
