SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
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