Whod you bang
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
