go do what you do best...puke behind churches
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
