Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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