I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I think my fart just growled at me.
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
