i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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