At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
