i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Randomize