I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Randomize
