"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
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