how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
