At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
