I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Randomize
