so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
