that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
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