he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize