I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize