this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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