don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Randomize
