with your own penis?
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
its liver damage thursday
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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