it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
