u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
You have to summon your inner elephant
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Randomize
