you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
