Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
I am naked and annoyed.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Randomize
