go do what you do best...puke behind churches
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
