Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
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