you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
You smell like a Billy Joel song
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Randomize
