it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
he fucked my hip out of place.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Randomize
