Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
