I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Randomize
